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Domestic violence is emotional, verbal, physical, or sexual abuse that happens between people who have had a dating, intimate/sexual or family relationship now or at any time in the past. Domestic violence can happen in both gay and straight relationships, and it can happen to people in long-term relationships or who only date casually every once in a while or have only dated once. It can include people who live together and people who don’t. Just to be really clear here, dating violence is in fact, domestic violence. Some people think that domestic violence can only happen to adults if they’re married or living together, but it can happen to anyone no matter what age.  If someone does something to control you, put you down, or hurt you, it’s violence and it’s not okay.  And because dating violence is considered domestic violence, all the laws that apply to and protect adults also apply to you. A lot of people do not report this abuse for a lot of different reasons. But even ...

 Another type of violence that I think is important to talk about is dating violence, which is sometimes called relationship or domestic violence.  No matter what you call it, violence in any relationship is not okay.  Don’t get me wrong, couples do argue sometimes (if you don’t believe me ask Kim and Josh), but if your boyfriend or girlfriend is doing anything to make you feel afraid, threatened or controlled, you may be in an abusive relationship.  If you think you might be experiencing violence in a relationship, or if you are worried about a friend, help is available. Talk to someone who can help you find the support you need. An expert on teen dating violence can help you (or a friend) understand the options that are available for teens faced with a controlling or abusive relationship. Find more relationship advice from these podcasts.

 It’s important to understand that it’s not your fault and nothing you did or didn’t do could make it your fault. It’s okay to feel scared , confused, vulnerable, shocked, ashamed, or guilty—these feelings do not mean you’re weak. There are some things you can do to take care of yourself after an assault: A really nice sexual assault counselor came to our school to talk to us about rape and sexual assault. She gave us some really good advice about what to do and where to go if we think we may have been sexually assaulted: Go to a safe place, like a friend’s or family member’s home, hospital or police station. Call a rape crisis center hotline . A trained counselor can talk to you about what happened, your options, and even go to the hospital with you if you want.  Go to a hospital as soon as possible. At the hospital you can be checked out and treated for any injury or infection. If you want to, the hospital can also collect evidence about the assault. You can have evidence ...

 So here’s the deal, sexual assault is any sexual activity you don’t want, by anyone. It doesn’t matter if it’s someone you know or not. It can be something as simple as someone touching you where you don’t want them to, or something as involved as forcing you to have sex with them against your will. Assault can be if someone makes you look at or be a part of pornography (porn/video taping sexual acts) or prostitution (taking money for sex). Another thing I learned is that it’s sexual assault when someone can’t agree to any type of sexual activity because he/she is drunk, high or asleep, or is too disabled or too young to give their permission. It’s still considered sexual assault if you agree to do something and then change your mind – if they don’t stop, it’s assault. Inappropriate Touching Rape Forced Sex I Didn't Want to Do That Inappropriate Touching We all have limits about what’s okay with us and what isn’t, even when it comes to touching. Some people like to hug or get a ki...

There is a lot of different information out there about HIV and AIDS and it can be really confusing. I’m really lucky that I had someone who could break it down for me and answer some of my questions. To start off, HIV stands for H uman I mmunodeficiency V irus. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS and AIDS stands for A cquired I mmune D eficiency S yndrome. Below, you can check out the answers to some of the questions that people often ask me about HIV, how to test, and how to protect yourself. What’s the difference between HIV and AIDS? This is a question I get a lot! HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is a virus that attacks the immune system and weakens your body’s ability to fight diseases and infections. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS. AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is a later stage of HIV disease that involves severe damage to the immune system. Someone who already has HIV is said to have AIDS when the immune system is really weak and may not be able to fight off c...

 Let's talk about Emergency Contraception I know some of you may have heard of the morning after pill (also called emergency contraception or EC) before and some of you may not know anything about it. My Aunt Lucia just gave me the low down on it and it’s something that everyone (girls AND guys) should know about.  Emergency contraception (EC) is a type of birth control pill that can be used when a woman is worried about becoming pregnant. Some possible reasons to take EC are because: ⦁ The condom broke or slipped off ⦁ Birth control pills weren’t taken, the patch wasn’t put on, or the vaginal ring wasn’t put in ⦁ The diaphragm, cap or shield slipped out of place ⦁ The penis wasn’t pulled out in time ⦁ Birth control wasn’t used ⦁ Sex was forced EC can be taken right after unprotected sex (sex when birth control wasn’t used) and up to five days after a pregnancy risk (when you’ve had unprotected sex and could become pregnant) but the sooner it is taken the more like...

 If you’re looking to get tested for an STI, you have a few different options.  First, if you’re comfortable seeing your doctor, and you currently have a primary care doctor, s/he can test you for STIs. If you don’t have a doctor you regularly see, or you’re not comfortable going to your regular doctor for STI testing, there are other places you can go.  Confidential testing means giving your name and some personal information to a clinic, but that information stays between you and the clinic unless you sign forms letting them give your information or test results to another person, like your doctor. Anonymous testing Anonymous testing can be done without ever giving your name at all.  When you go to the clinic, you will be identified by a code and any tests you have done will only have that code on them. This way, your name always remains unknown. If you are under 18, you have a right to confidential STI testing.  However if you get tested using your medical in...

How do I know if I have an STI? The only way to know for sure if you have an STI is to have regular testing for STIs. Still, it’s important to know what’s normal for your body.  If you notice something that isn’t normal for you, get it checked out.  Some things that might not be normal could be things like: * Discharge (yellow, white or greenish liquid) from the vagina or penis * Bleeding that is different than a normal period * Bumps or sores around the vagina, penis, anus (butthole), or mouth * Burning or pain while peeing * Itching around the vagina or penis or in the pubic hair * Stomach pain, or pain during sex I don't want to get an STI There are a bunch of things you can do to protect yourself from STIs, or to reduce your risk. You could: 1. Use a latex or polyurethane (thin plastic) condom when you have sex 2. For oral sex, use a dental dam, plastic wrap, or condom to protect yourself 3. Have sex with fewer people 4. Talk with the people you’re havi...

 Bacterial STIs are infections caused by different types of germs called bacteria. These include: ⦁ Chlamydia ⦁ Gonorrhea ⦁ Syphilis Viral infections are caused by viruses, which are living germs even smaller than bacteria. These include: ⦁ Herpes ⦁ HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus, a virus that weakens  your immune system and makes your body vulnerable to life-threatening illnesses) ⦁ HPV (Human Papillomavirus, which can cause genital warts and cell changes on the cervix) ⦁ Hepatitis B Parasitic infections are caused by a parasite (an organism like a small insect that lives on or inside an animal or human). Some examples are: ⦁ Crabs (pubic lice) ⦁ Scabies ⦁ Trichomoniasis (trich) It’s good to know the difference between these STIs since bacterial and parasitic infections can usually be cured, and viruses usually can’t.

 I know a lot of the people I talk to want info about STD’s so here’s what’s up with those annoying Sexually Transmitted Diseases/ Infections (STD/STI). First of all, STI stands for Sexually Transmitted Infection. An STI is any infection that you might get by having sex through contact with sexual fluids such as semen (cum) and vaginal fluids. You can also get some STIs just by having skin-to-skin contact with someone who has one. STIs can be passed through vaginal, butt (anal), or oral sex.  Some STIs can even be transmitted if you use a condom.  So if you’re having sex you could be at risk, and the truth is many STIs don’t have symptoms that guys or girls can see or feel.  If you’re having sex or thinking about having sex, it’s important to know about STIs. If they go untreated, some of these infections can cause pain and scars which could cause problems having a baby in the future.  Some STIs can be cured – but some, like HIV, can’t.  What is the differ...

 The right time to have sex is different for everyone, but there are a few things you should think about before you make the decision to have sex.  One of the best ways to know if you are ready is if you feel safe.  Feeling safe may mean something slightly different to everyone, but it usually includes having talked with a parent, doctor or other trusted adult, and having a partner who respects you and your decision to stay safe. Remember, if you’re not ready to talk about this stuff ahead of time, you probably aren’t ready to have sex yet. There are many reasons why you may not be ready to have sex yet and that’s totally OK. Reasons why you may not be ready to have sex: 1. Your partner or friends are pressuring you to have sex. 2. You and your partner have not talked about using birth control or protecting yourselves from HIV   and other STIs. 3.  Having sex means different things to you and your partner.  After you’ve had sex, will you be upset...

 An unplanned pregnancy can be a scary thing for anyone.  I think the most important thing to remember is that you’re not alone. Many pregnancies are unplanned (let’s be honest, many women young and old get pregnant when they weren’t planning to) and whatever you decide to do, there are people and resources to help you. My site has a lot of information, support, and referrals in Massachusetts that you may need to help you make an informed decision about what to do next. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, you have choices to make and issues you may want to think about.   You can: (these are links, add mine) Choose to have the baby and parent your child Choose to have the baby and make an adoption plan Choose to have an abortion to end the pregnancy Listen to parenting podcasts. If you are having a hard time deciding what to do, try talking to someone you trust, like your parents, your doctor, a close friend, or a family member. Basically, talking with an adult ...

Talking About Sex My Aunt Sally says it’s not just teens that are making decisions about sex.  Having sex is a big deal, it’s not the kind of decision you make once and never think about it again.  Every relationship (no matter how old we are), and every choice about whether to have sexual contact with another person, is a chance to make the right choice for ourselves. Why do people have sex? People have sex for lots of different reasons — to feel closer to their partner, to take what may be the next step in their relationship and because it feels good.  The decision to start having sex is a very personal one that should involve a lot of thought by both you and your partner.  It’s not a decision that you should take lightly or let anyone pressure you into. What is the relationship of sex to love? Sometimes, for some people, sex enhances intimacy or makes them feel more connected.  Sex is not just about pleasure, but about creating a bond with another person....

 If you and your partner are not ready to be parents, but have decided that abortion isn’t right for you either, you have another choice, so I want to give you some information about adoption. Adoption is a legal process which permanently places a child with someone who is ready to be a parent. This is a really great way to give someone (or a couple) a child who can’t have one otherwise.  It also allows your baby to be raised by people who want a baby and feel ready for it.  Remember it’s up to each person to figure out what to do in this situation, and what feels right for one person may not feel right for another. Whatever your reason, if you are unable or aren’t ready to be a parent and don’t want to get an abortion, then you may want to think about adoption. In most states, you have to work with a licensed agency or service provider to help you make an adoption plan that is best for you and your baby.  There are many types of adoption agencies and many types of a...

Women find out that they are pregnant in different ways. Usually, women who are pregnant do not get their periods when they expect them. I know some women who found out that way. A couple of girls I know say that they could just feel that something was different; their bodies just felt . . . off.  One girl said her breasts started to hurt; another felt sick to her stomach a lot. But this can differ from woman to woman. The quickest and most accurate way for a woman to know for sure whether she is pregnant or not is to have a pregnancy test. Anyone can buy a pregnancy test from a drug store (they won’t ask for I.D. because you don’t have to be over a certain age to buy one) or get a cheap or free test and counseling at a local family planning clinic. Getting tested at your doctor’s office or a family planning clinic can be a really good option because if you find out that you’re pregnant, you’ll probably have a lot of questions that a doctor (like my Aunt Lucia), nurse or family pl...

 The first thing you should know is that not having sex is the most effective way to keep from getting pregnant. But even if you’ve decided you are ready to have sex and you don’t want to get pregnant or get someone else pregnant, there are a lot of options to prevent pregnancy. For more information on ways to prevent pregnancy, check out the Birth Control page. If you had unprotected sex (sex without a condom and/or other form of birth control) for any reason, you still have options to keep from getting pregnant. If you’ve had sex without some sort of protection and are worried about pregnancy, there may be a lot of things going through your mind and it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, confused, scared, and unsure. Sometimes talking it through with someone close to you can help you make a decision. What can you do to prevent pregnancy AFTER unprotected sex? Believe it or not, there is a safe, effective way to prevent pregnancy after sex.  Emergency contraception (EC)...

 Many places offer free or low-cost support for new parents and people who are about to be parents, including counseling, parenting classes, and classes on dealing with stress (because seriously, as cute as those little babies are, it is hard to be a parent). There are also resources like the WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) program that help you provide your child with healthy meals. I’ve included some links on this page to places that can help you if you decide keeping your baby is the right choice for you. Like any other challenges in life, support from family and friends is important. If there are people who you are close to who can help out with things like parenting advice and child care, it can make having a baby easier to deal with. If these are not options for you, there are other people that can help you with this stuff. Creating a family and having a little person in your world who loves you and that you love is amazing, but my Aunt Lucia says that being a parent is th...