Sex Questions

Talking About Sex

My Aunt Sally says it’s not just teens that are making decisions about sex.  Having sex is a big deal, it’s not the kind of decision you make once and never think about it again.  Every relationship (no matter how old we are), and every choice about whether to have sexual contact with another person, is a chance to make the right choice for ourselves.

Why do people have sex?

People have sex for lots of different reasons — to feel closer to their partner, to take what may be the next step in their relationship and because it feels good.  The decision to start having sex is a very personal one that should involve a lot of thought by both you and your partner.  It’s not a decision that you should take lightly or let anyone pressure you into.

What is the relationship of sex to love?
Sometimes, for some people, sex enhances intimacy or makes them feel more connected.  Sex is not just about pleasure, but about creating a bond with another person.  This is why lots of people wait for marriage, or some other serious commitment, to have sex.  

When is the right time to have sex?
The right time is when you feel ready, when you know how to avoid unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, and when you have a partner who will respect your feelings and take steps to help you stay safe. This is different for everybody.  But Aunt Lucia says the older you are, the better prepared you will be to decide when the time feels right for you.

My cousin decided that she wasn’t going to have sex until she was married, and that’s cool.  Like I said before, the decision to have sex is yours and yours alone, and it’s okay to wait to have sex if you feel you’re too young or just aren’t ready yet.

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